I had some stuff wandering around in my mind and just wanted to let it out. This post is the result of a late night writing session on my phone.
Hey! Great news everyone! A week from now I will be in Indonesia. I fly from Amsterdam directly to Jakarta on May 5th.
Today was a good day. Got a new phone, study, got a haircut. Changes come in all shapes and sizes. The biggest change, obviously, is the switch from doing absolutely nothing, to starting a study.
It's early, 05:00 AM, birds just started chirping, which is a nice sound to wake up to. It's relaxing and it calms my mind. It's better than a loud alarm clock or something. I remember the time I had to get up at this hour to go to work. Sometimes even earlier, so that I could go for a short run before work. As a personal trainer it was important to me that I looked good, but also to be as fit and healthy as I could. I went to bed early, and therefore woke up early too. My biological clock is still the same, but the world has changed a lot.
Monday, the start of a new week. For most people anyway. They drain their energy during the week, and then recharge over the weekend. They have active social life's and use the weekend to socialize with all their friends. Most people are so busy during the week, that their weekend time has become 'holy time'. They put as many social activities in one weekend as they can, to catch up with all of their friends. Making the weekend another chaotic period, leaving little room for 'recovery' for the week that lies ahead.
Weekend! It's Saturday morning, 07:13 AM, and I'm already wide awake. I often get asked questions like: 'why are you already awake? You don't have work, you have no schedule, why don't you sleep in?'. The situation that I'm in with my back, keeps me from doing activities. I sit at home a lot, go for occasional walks and obviously don't use much energy throughout the day. So basically, the fact that I barely do stuff is the reason that I sleep so little. With 5 hours of sleep, my body and mind can recover just enough for the day that lies ahead.
I live in Hilversum, a small city in the Netherlands. Close to my house there's a moor, I used to go there with my grandma when I was young. And now I still go there from time to time. I go there on walks, to think, to 'get some fresh air', to enjoy nature and, of course, because my back needs a little bit of exercise. With my back injury I can barely do any sports. I can't even go for a run, which I'd much rather do. So walking will have to do, for now.
My life has changed, no doubt. From being active with sports every single day, to not being able to do any form of sport at all. I even made sport my job. I used to work as a personal trainer, giving physical training all day, everyday. I used to play rugby, which made me go to the gym often. Daily routines that I can't do anymore. I can do sports again in time, but never on the same level as what it used to be and no rugby. And with my current situation I don't see myself going back to the same line of work either. It's time for (more) change.
I open the door and walk in to the house, it's abandoned. Windows have been taken out and are replaced with planks. The lights don't work anymore, but there's candles all over the house. There's blankets, pillows and mattresses on the floor in the living room. It seems people have camped here after the blast, trying to survive in our 'new world'. But the house is empty, 'no one home'. I've walked a great distance today, so I sit down on one of the mattresses to rest my feet. I take a bottle of water from my backpack and take one little sip, I have to save some for later.